The description of facts here is based on a real case. We addressed a complex matter of drug addition in an elder, related financial ripoffs, and the effect of a broken healthcare system.
Daughter Finds Dad In Distress
Faithful daughter (FD) stepped in to rescue her aging father (AF) from an abusive situation at his home. He had not responded to her efforts to reach him. His wife, who seemed to have mental challenges of her own, was giving AF a long list of medications multiple times a day. She was seen verbally and emotionally abusing AF. Dad was a highly educated professional. FD brought AF to her own home to figure out how to best help him. He expressed no interest in returning to his home, and seemed relieved to get away.
Using Legal Authority
The first thing FD did was to consult with us at AgingParents.com, a nurse-lawyer, psychologist team, to find out what she is and is not allowed to do for her dad under the legal documents in place. AF had appointed her as his healthcare agent, his agent on his Durable Power of Attorney and as his sole successor trustee. In other words, she had complete legal authority to do all she deemed necessary to care for her father and to ensure his safety, both physical and financial. She needed reassurance that removing him from his home, hundreds of miles away was “legal”. It was. FD was in danger for several reasons there. Her job was to remove the dangers in every way possible.
The Medication List
FD got a lis to drugs AF was taking. To her shock, FD discovered that her father had been receiving opioids several times a day, for reasons unknown. At the meantime, he was also taking a drug that is supposed to help him concentrate, as he had attention deficit disorder. Essentially, that drug is amphetamine, which “hypes” a person up and does the opposite of an opioid. This alone was a dangerous combination, given that both opioids and the other medication are highly addictive. He was also taking many other medications at the same time, all of which can have risky side effects. She was appalled to learn that her father was addicted to at least two drugs he had been given over a long period by his wife. Meanwhile, the wife was withdrawing large sums of money from their account without AF’s knowledge. He was confused. In other words, this was a colossal mess for FD trying to sort out what she could do.
Taking Control Over Healthcare And Finances
FD consulted with her father’s primary care physician, who had not been in communication with other physicians who were giving multiple prescriptions to AF. They created a plan to wean AF off of opioids first. That worked well and with few symptoms associated to withdrawal, FD got her father off opioids within weeks. She continued with weaning him off the amphetamine as well, and successfully completed that withdrawal. AF had no complaints about craving a drug or any other distress. He seemed content and more alert.
Assessment Of Dad’s Cognitive Ability To Manage Finances
A next step for FD was to get psychological testing of her father to determine the extent of his memory loss and his difficulty understanding his money. His son had recently withdrawn hundreds of thousands of dollars from his account without his permission. His wife was doing the same. He had been so “out of it” with all the overmedication, he did not know what was going on with finances, which he alone had always handled in the past.
The testing was done. The test scores showed that he had severe memory loss is some areas and was unable to process many kinds of concepts, such as value of a property and the balance in his investment account. He was diagnosed with dementia and the doctor opined that AF should not ever independently handle any finances at all. FD immediately contacted his financial institutions, presented them with his trust, appointing her as his trustee and with the Durable Power of Attorney document, further showing her authority. She removed what was left of his cash from the account to which his wife and son had access and put it in AF’s name in an new account in a different bank, on which she was the signatory.That would stop any further financial abuse of AF.
The Connection Between Overmedication And Financial Abuse
Without question, the wife and her son had been planning to take AF’s funds without his knowledge or consent, which was exactly what they did. If it had not been for FD’s intervention, her father might have sunk further and further into a drugged state, at risk to his life. He was extremely vulnerable because of a combination of gross overmedication and dementia. She got him off the totally unnecessary drugs and stopped access to his money by his predatory family members. She created safety for her 85-year-old father.
The Takeaways
From this real life example, a lot can be learned.
1. If you are interested in keeping an aging parent safe, get a list of all the prescription medications they are taking. If you are the appointed healthcare agent, ask for this information yourself. If someone else is the agent, ask them to give you the list. You don’t have to have medical expertise to look up a drug using Google or AI. Read about the medications and reasons for giving it, called “indications”. If something doesn’t look right, ask questions or write to the treating doctor(s) with your concerns. Persist.
2. Know that once a medication is prescribed, there may be little information provided as to when to stop the medication. In AF’s case, opioids were prescribed for a shoulder injury 10 years prior to FD’s discovery that he was taking opioids. He had no pain and continuing this medication for that long was ridiculous. Ask your loved one’s MD or write to them if you think something doesn’t seem right.
3. Know that when a person has memory loss, it will progress downward. It is more and more likely over time that they will have trouble keeping track of finances. Don’t assume that a highly educated person is immune from memory loss and can always keep track of finances. It happened to AF. He was being financially abused.
4. It takes legal action to stop this abuse and prevent the abusers from wiping out a vulnerable elder’s financial security. If you are the adult child of an aging loved one, seek legal counsel if you see a pattern that is alarming to you. The advice you get and action you take could save a loved one’s life.
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