One of my favorite books is “Tuesdays with Morrie: An Old Man, A Young Man, and Life’s Greatest Lesson by Mitch Albom. While it was originally published in 1997, the messages are timeless. Based on a true story, Albom finds out his favorite professor at Brandeis University is dying from amyotrophic lateral sclerosis (ALS). Albom visits Morrie and realizes the wisdom he is learning from Morrie is so meaningful to him. So, he decides to make a ritual of visiting him every Tuesday where they talk about life—money, love, death, relationships, family, aging, forgiveness, and more. The book was so popular Oprah Winfrey produced a movie for television in 1999.
Since Morrie knows there is no cure for ALS, he tells Albom and his friends that he would like to have a funeral while he is alive. Even though Morrie is humble, he would like to hear what people have to say about him. He wants to enjoy the celebration of life while he is alive.
Recently, I was presenting a workshop on the value of legacy letters or ethical wills. I shared this story about Morrie and one woman shared this story. The participant’s friend had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. She asked a couple of her friends to plan a “fake wake” so she could attend. Her close friends were invited, and her favorite foods and beverages were served. Friends shared stories and there was laughter and crying. The storyteller said, “It was a meaningful and memorable experience for everyone there.”
Too often we wait until it is too late to tell people how much they matter to us.
When a friend of mine found out her mother was diagnosed with a sudden illness with no cure, I suggested she have a celebration of life while her mother was still alive. Since her mother loved a good cocktail party, I shared ideas I learned from Morrie and a party was held while she was alive to enjoy it.
For my podcast, “Becoming a Sage,” I interviewed Don Yaeger, author of several books and long-time Associate Editor of Sports Illustrated. In writing the book “Never Die Easy: The Autobiography of Walter Payton, Yaeger was asked to spend the last weeks with Payton as he was struggling with a rare liver disease at age 46.
Yaeger got choked up as he told me this story. Yaeger asked the famous Chicago Bears running back, “Everything you’ve touched has turned to gold. If there was one day in your future for which you would trade all your awards, trophies, and Hall of Fame, what would it be?”
After a pause, Payton responded, “I would give it all up to walk my daughter down the aisle.” He also shared the things that he would like to tell his daughter on her future wedding day. As Payton’s daughter was only 13 at the time the book would be published, Yaeger didn’t feel he should include the story in the book.
Fourteen years later, Yaeger got invited to the daughter’s wedding. He decided to type up the story and give it to her as a wedding gift. She said it was her most meaningful gift to receive. She got to hear what her father would have said to her on her wedding day.
Why do we often wait until it is too late to tell people how much they matter to us. Like a legacy letter or ethical will described in this Forbes.com article, we should be intentional about sharing what matters most with the people who matter most.
You have likely seen the slogan: Life is short so eat dessert first. We all die. It can be a gift to know when you are going to die. Who said you must die to have a funeral? Why not have a funeral or celebration of life while you are living?
Read the full article here
